blahhhhh...being an adult is no fun

So...I just took a new job. I really didn't think I was going to take it, but it's a salary increase. The problem is I'm not the least bit excited...not one ounce. I currently work in a job where it's steady and I don't have to do anything to secure sales or my job. Customers come to me. I'm moving into a job where I'd be a wholesale sales rep with a number of customers under me in a portion of Ohio. I love the money, I love the freedom, you make your own schedule, I love not being behind a desk...company truck, cell phone, all those goodies. But the BIGGEST problem? I hate cold calling. I did it 10 years ago and hated it. So now I'm actually bummed out and not the least bit excited that I accepted a position cold calling. The opportunities are awesome...but is it worth it?

Uggggg....I hate being an adult.

Dude, if you're gonna advance, you gotta take your lumps.

About 5 years ago, I took a promotion that was more $$$, more input in overall decision making, and more freedom. The problems?
-I'm now acountable for EVERY fucking mistake made by my "operators" (who are in fact the same people who I worked with as an "operator" 5 years ago when I was an "operator")
-My operators hate me now because I was one of them 5 years ago, and have now sold out and become their boss.
-I now have to look myself in the mirror everyday and realize that I have become that guy that I hated when I was an operator.

But I accept it.
You know why?
Because I'm moving forward, and that's what's best for me and my family.
You know what they say; If you're not moving forward, you're standing still.

Yep, more money always means a tougher job and always means there will be more people making less money than you and will dislike you because of it.
At the end of the day your family is number one, and fuck anyone else who doesn't get that.

Agree with all that was said above. DEP got passed up for a promo he was TOLD WAS HIS about 5yrs ago, so he decided to go out on his own and compete with the company that bent him over. It was the stupidest thing I've ever done, and that's saying something. And and and... it was the smartest thing I've ever done. I'm up every day at 4am on the phone, setting up shit for 3 days to a month down the line. I'm also on and off the phone all day. A lot of it is cold calling. It sucks, but it has to be done or I don't eat so fuck it. The freedom that comes with being self-employed is awesome and terrifying all at the same time. I went to Cancun for 5 days a little over a year ago, brothers wedding. By day 4 I was freaking out to get home and go to work.

A lot of us have a grand dream of ourselves 30yrs from now. Lazy-boy, feet up in front of a big old TV watching the game, tipping a beer while the wife makes lunch and the grandkids destroy the house/yard/everything. We lose it when we stop realizing that it can't be accomplished without the day to day. The grind is your means to an end, nothing else.

Life is funny like that. You just find a groove that works, then you work it until you find a better one. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith for you to find the one that works best. Sam buddy, you believe in yourself and your ability to make that new job your bitch. You wouldn't be there if you didn't.

Edit: I would like to leave you with a quote that I was reminded of when I read Triggerman's post. Also, Samger2, knowing what field you're in I think it fits pretty well.

Big Tom Callahan once said: "In auto parts you're either growin or you're dyin, there ain't no 3rd direction."

Quote :

Big Tom Callahan once said: "In auto parts you're either growin or you're dyin, there ain't no 3rd direction."

I remember when I cold called 10 years ago...I hated that every dealership I rolled by or every fleet I rolled by I had to approach. When I finally got out of it it was a relief that I didn't have that pressure. That's really really bugging me right now that I'm about to step right back into something I was so glad to get out of and never really wanted to do again. I guess after 10 years I've lost the salesmanship I once had. I don't get any joy out of customer service the way I used to...and I've lost any self confidence I once had. I really would love to get out of the automotive industry and the customer service industry altogether. Generally people suck and that's become mroe and more evident to me over the past 10 years. I wish I could make the job my bitch...but frankly, I don't think I can...and even moreso...I don't think I want to. it's really hard to dedicate alot to something you really don't want to do.

You're thinking too much.

Welcome to my life for about the past 18 years. That's what I do...I over think things to the point of anxiety, headaches, stomach aches and fear. That's part of what the 150mg of effexor I take daily is for. I'm not blaming it on my "condition"...but at the same time...I'm blaming it on my "condition". Decisions as small as what box of medicine to grab off the shelf will cause me a 10 minute decision making process. That's what I'm afraid of...and I remember it well 10 years ago, the anxiety and stress my mind encountered. I over thought EVERY sales call to the point where sometimes I'd just sit in the parking lot and psych myself out of going in. Now sometimes I was able to overcome it and I succeeded...other times it killed me and what should've taken me from 8-12 to complete a full day of sales calls...took me till 5 PM.

What I'm saying is I over think things because that's what I do...that's how I'm wired...and I'm TERRIFIED that it'll get in my way. And to say not to let it...is something that's sometimes not possible with me.

I'm not really asking for you to respond "oh poor guy I didn't realize"...I am just one of those people that it took me a few years to recognize that I had some sort of issue...and yeah, maybe I let it get the better of me, but I guess I'd rather put my money in a savings account or a CD vs play the stock market. I stress over little things...I try to avoid the humongous life changing things that make me curl up in a ball.

You're feeling too much, you're too reactive. Take a little step forward, then step back and evaluate how it makes you feel with a high powered microscope, right? You have to realize that it's not the cold calling and sales calls that suck. What sucks is the way you feel about it. I just look at it like a simple 3 step process. A = You. B = Cold calling. C = How you feel. You're skipping B and going from A to C. What you have to learn to do is make it a 2 step process. Fuck C. Easier said than done, I know. All that matters is you and sales calls. How you feel doesn't matter. It's irrelevant. Go balls out and let it ride, there's always tomorrow. Adapt and overcome, grasshoppa.

I think as I think about it and ponder it...which I shouldn't so much...I'm truly happy with mediocrity. I'm a follower, not a leader. I'm not one of those people that takes the justin bieber approach of you can achieve anything you put your mind to. No you can't. Justin Bieber wouldn't be a multi million dollar recording artist if he couldn't fukin sing. Call me low self esteem, or whatever, I'm fine with that...because like I said, I'm a follower not a leader. I guess I just want to blend in and be average. I told the guy I didn't want the job and I felt like someone lifted a 500lb weight off my shoulders...I was happy this morning, bouncing around like a damn little girl. Then he emailed me back and the stress came back. Don't want it. Don't need it. I'm average, I'm fine with that.

Well you may be right then. The grass is ALWAYS greener, ax me how I know. Still, it doesn't mean there's nothing out there that you can excel at. I've driven across the country a few times. I always knew where I was going, when I had to be there and about how long the trip would take. So you either blast out there in 2 days or you leave a little early and take it easy getting there, soak up the scenery etc. You're still going to the same place to do the same things.

Very true. I think I'll find something sometime down the road that's somewhat better than I have and that I'm actually excited...or better yet...looking forward to trying. My cousin told me "follow your heart"...I never really knew what that meant until now. No matter how much the brain told me "this is a good opportunity"...the heart said not to do it. Dunno...I'm actually surprised that I didn't take the job just because I always thought I'd spring for something for more money, but when it came down to it, my heart won out on this one.

I know where you're coming from.
I bid on a job opening for a higher position here at my mill a few years ago simply because it was higher pay and the natural progression of my career (I'm basicly topped-out in my current job; can't go any higher up the ladder than I already have). But deep down, I was actaully hoping I wouldn't get it. Not because I was afraid of the challenge or felt like I wasn't qualified, but because I just simply didn't really want the job. The guys currently in that job aren't my kind of people, I'd have to go out and deal with other people who annoy the hell out of me, and my day-to-day freedom would be severely cut back. The flip side of that is the job I currently have; I love the people I work with, I don't have to worry about dealing with those "other" people who annoy me, and I basicly have free reign to do things however I want, so long as the job gets done. Would it be better pay at the other job? Absolutely. But for now, I'm good staying at my current job where my mental health is in a much better situation.
Oh, and no; I didn't get the job, and yes; that's perfectly fine with me.

Moving up sucks, last year I was forced into a promotion with no associated raise. I'm now in a position that demands me to work 70 hours a week instead of the 50 that I use to. I'm basically doing two jobs (my previous position and my current) because my firm can't find anyone to fill my old position. Also since I moved up I have had to let two of my coworkers go (both of whom I was close with). The obvious question is if it sucks this much why haven't I left yet? Simple, because if I leave my firm will close down our San Diego office and 5 of my coworkers will lose their jobs...

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I am essentially in a dead end job. I am promoted as high as I can possibly go in my current job title. I really want to be a product manager as I am qualified and already do a lot of that job anyway. I am temporarily babysitting a smaller state until they can fill the position. I'd be really good at it and the pay is a ton better and includes equity in the company (which is a huge kicker).
However, I love where I live and I would have to move to our home office to get a product manager job which is in Cleveland.
Been there; done that. No f'ing way I am moving back there willingly. Plus, pretty sure my wife would leave me and take the kids if I told her I wanted to move back to Cleveland.

Where do you currently live stock? The only reason I ask, I live in Columbus, about 2 hours south of Cleveland

I'm in Texas now. Haven't lived in Cleveland since 2003/4.

Oh I gotcha...thought maybe you were close. Yeah I don't blame you or your wife for not wanting to leave Texas for lovely Cleveland......

stock wrote:

I am essentially in a dead end job. I am promoted as high as I can possibly go in my current job title. I really want to be a product manager as I am qualified and already do a lot of that job anyway. I am temporarily babysitting a smaller state until they can fill the position. I'd be really good at it and the pay is a ton better and includes equity in the company (which is a huge kicker).
However, I love where I live and I would have to move to our home office to get a product manager job which is in Cleveland.
Been there; done that. No f'ing way I am moving back there willingly. Plus, pretty sure my wife would leave me and take the kids if I told her I wanted to move back to Cleveland.

Yeah I'm in practically the exact same boat, just that your sticking point is moving, while mine is having to work with people I don't want to work with.
There's nowhere to go "up" anymore in my current position; I'm already the highest ranked/highest paid person in the mill who works in production, and I can continue to be for the next 30 years if I so choose. But I really should think about taking that other job because the pay will elevate much faster and I will have a whole new, much higher ceiling for advancement. But I can't bring myself to do it right now, regardless of how logical of a move it is. I know it's going to have to be done eventually, but I'm not mentally prepared to intentionally make myself unhappier at this point.

I'm exactly where you are Trigger. I'm totally maxed out where I am...complete dead end job...no opportunity whatsoever...but I can't bring myself to go mentally to the other place. And with me, it's a matter of totally leaving the company and moving on after 8 years...so it'd be quite the change....and now that I've passed it up...it's passed. I just need to keep my eyes open for other opportunities that feel right and that I'm ready for.

Yeah the way I look at it is it just wasn't the right time for me. Maybe I'll get another shot at it later on the road or maybe I won't, but I firmly believe that it would have been a mistake to get it when it was offered last time. Like I said; I did put in a bid for the job, but all along while waiting to find out if i got it or not I was secretly hoping it would go to somebody else. They hired somebody from outside of the mill for it, and I was genuinely releived and happy.
If there's a next time, I may feel differently and may be hoping against hope that I do get the job, and that's how I'll know it's a good idea.

I know just what you mean...the whole time I kept thinking "man I wish this place never contacted me"...yet I went through the motions of interview and stuff.

Sam,

Buddy as far as I am concerned there is no price on happiness. I think that sums up this whole situation.

Would taking the job that would make you miserable mean the difference between you and your family living in a dumpster or a house? If the answer is no, then I think you made the right decision. You turned down the position and as soon as you did, what happened? You were happy again. That's what it is all about. I don't know your home situation or anything, but I can tell you are a good guy. The last thing you want is to take a position which will start effecting you at home and making you unhappy.

I work in the North American HQ of the company I work for, but Im really in a production facility. The problem is my dept is not a production dept, we are a support dept. So I report to the home office in the Netherlands. This works out great for me in many ways. One, when the production folks here don't give me what I want I can escalate or even threaten to escalate to the dutch and they start jumping. Two, I report to someone 5,000 miles away and 6 hours ahead of me so come lunch time he has already left for the day so I have some freedom as well.
But, Im also in a support dept within a production facility so there is no place for me to go here and I am ok with that as well. They have offered me many positions in Holland, but no company is worth that imo.

I think you made the right decision buddy.

Thanks man...it really does help to hear positive feedback from those I respect...and that's why I posted this here, I respect everyone around here.